Vacation Dating…

Okay, so some call it long distance relationships, I sometimes think it should be called vacation dating. When your on vacation, everything is SUPER!  You don’t fight, you just want to make love all day, heck there are even people to make you food! Then sometimes, the weather turns bad and you’re stuck in the stinkin room and there is nothing to do except look at each other and start to pick.  Or even worse, get drunky and let them know exactly what’s been festering in your little noggin since the last visit.  At that point, it becomes a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP!  (personally, I  like to call it vacation dating, has a much friendlier vibe to it!)

 It seems since my divorce many moons ago, I keep getting involved in long distance dating.  Now when I first got divorced, I really wanted to date someone far away from me.  That way, when I got tired of them, they went home! I’ve also always had commitment issues, so it was perfect for me!  (when i finally hung pictures on the walls of my home after living here 6 years, my daughter was so proud!  yes, I have commitment issues on homes too, what if i have to move, then i need to repaint!) 

The first guy was from Chicago, but didn’t like preforming oral on me, loved it on him though! That was a good enough reason to break up with him. Next up was a guy here in Arizona, but he was WAY to into me and I found his obsessiveness and possessiveness irritating. There was a guy in Indiana.  I really loved him, but he had kids in Indy and HELLO!  It’s Indiana, I aint moving there!  So that was a bummer for me, then there was a guy in Calgary.  He was really fun to date, but was more interested in partying than he was in me.

I’m now starting to wonder if I’m capable of dating a guy that lives here.  It would be nice sometimes, I mean, I would love to cook dinner and call him up to come over, and  there is the benefit of having sex with a real live person and not a vibrator that is appealing.  When someone lives near you, you also get to see the good, the bad and the ugly which is beneficial in determining if you really want to be with them.  When you vaca date, you always see way more positive than negative.

I remember being married and thinking, I wish he would go on a business trip and leave me alone for a few days so I won’t have to smother him with this pillow.  When I talk to my coupled friends, they always talk about how great it is when they get to be alone. 

So, are long distance relationships such a bad thing??? And how far is too far?  I would rather get on a plane and fly somewhere  than  drive an hour from my house.  (I know, that last statement proly means I’m really fucked up.)   Vaca dating can be bad when you have no desire to visit the place they live, because if you don’t want to vacation there, you aint gonna want to live there.  I get to live in Arizona, it’s pretty awesome here and when the weather is nice, I don’t want to leave!  Now, come August, I’m going to want to get outta here.  (note to self, find someone to date that lives in a cool, fun place soon)  The sex is usually great because you both have (hopefully) been getting horny since you were last together.  You usually never fight, because why would you waste your time fighting, when you can be in bed??  Downsides are if you don’t see each in a short amount of time, you do start arguing about everything, insecurities can flare up and/or you may get bored. 

SO, what are the parameters to make this thing work?  How long is too long between visits?  How much contact do you have to have during the time apart?  Do you text, email, phone?  I find that women want more contact, and men less.  (Except the guy in Indy, he wanted to talk all the time and probably why I was in love with him.  Remember the part that women want more contact?)  How do you keep it going, and when do you pull the plug?  Wish I knew the answers, maybe you do?

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