Too needy or not too needy?

I was working yesterday, and a client and I were talking about men and dating (big surprise) and stuff like that.  She’s been married 3 times and has never had a problem attracting the opposite sex.  My sister and I were talking about some of the people we know that are coupled and wonder how the heck that happened! 

Why are there so many attractive, smart, independent women out there searching for the “one”.  Well, my client told me I have to be more needy and dependent.  We were actually role playing what I should be saying.  Now, in between me laughing my ass off and not thinking I could do this, she does have a point.  She told me to go to a bar and stand next to a man and say, “I’m thirsty and I can’t get any attention from the bartender, could you help me?”  I’m asking everyone, does this really work??? 

OMG, seriously, has it come to the point where women have evolved into independent people, but still have to play the helpless card to get a guy?  My male friends have told me that I can be intimidating to men.  I don’t mean to be, but I can carry on an intelligent conversation, and I’m not afraid to express and share my opinions. Does that make me less desirable in the dating pool?  Do I have to regress to a needy girl so a man can come rescue me and make it all better?? 

I know there are games that men and women play while doing the whole mating dance, but aren’t there any confident guys who want a take charge kind of gal?  Let me know, I would looooove your opinions.  In the mean time, I think I’ll go out tonight and do a little research.  I first need to practice my helpless look.

Fighting to break up?

The song goes, breaking up is hard to do, but why is it?  Are we afraid of hurting the other person, or hurting ourselves, or because it’s just not fun?  When one person gets to the point where they want to end it, why is it so difficult to just spit it out?  An easier approach seems to be pick a fight, break it off. 

I’ve used this approach myself in the past.  I have been in relationships that I knew weren’t going to work, but just couldn’t seem to pull the trigger. I would find myself wishing the person would do something that really made me mad, so I could say, “goodbye” and walk away and feel like the jilted one.  Even though, I knew it was them that was getting tossed to the curb.  Do we do this so we don’t feel like the bad guy? 

There are legitimate reasons to break things off, including, I’m just not that into you anymore.  We can have a change of heart at any time, usually though it’s a build up.  Sometimes, the person is wonderful and the timing is off.  Sometimes, you just know there isn’t a long term path that can happen for lots of reasons.  Sometimes, it just doesn’t feel good.  Whatever the reason is, why do we have to be so cowardly to pick a fictitious fight so we can take our ball and go home.  It makes me laugh, that even at my age and older, we still do this. 

 When this has happened to me when I was younger, I would spend hours wondering what the fuck happened.  I would pour over every detail with my girlfriends and analyze the shit out of it.  All the time, never realizing the guy wasn’t right for me and I should be feeling grateful it was over with and could move on! 

When we are younger women, we tend to blame ourselves.  Now, I’m over 40 and have a lot more experience.  When it has happened in this stage of my life, I usually make one attempt to find out if the guy was serious and then let it go.  Obviously, I’m much better off without him and his issues.  Thank God, I’ve grown and evolved as a woman, and am comfortable in my own skin.  I’m grateful for my life, and for the chances it gives me. 

For everyone out there who has had this happen to them, look forward not back, the only thing back there is an ass!