Technology breeds insecurity.

In the world of dating, there are many new additions that we didn’t have years ago that add deception and angst, and insecurity into relationships.  We now have the lovely world of online dating, text messaging, social networking (twitter, facebook, myspace) and also computers with ichat, and email.  What is happening, is we have too much info and media availability and it breeds insecurities. 

Let’s start with online dating.  Online dating is a great way to meet people especially if you don’t have a lot of opportunity at work and stuff.  But once you’ve met someone, and made a connection, then what do you do with your profile??  Some people take them down right away, then they put them back up making you think they aren’t into you.  It’s almost better if they had never hid them in the first place.  Sometimes, it’s used as a game to mess with the other person.  We don’t want them to think we are that into them, so we keep our profile open even though we aren’t communicating with other people, we want them to think we may be.  It’s just a mind fuck.  Those profiles are really a way to make a person insecure even in the beginning of the dating/mating process. 

Let’s go on to texting.  It’s a great way to keep in touch with others, but when you’re with your someone special, and they keep getting texts, it makes you think they are cheating.  I have known people who have actually gone into their “significant’s” phones and read their texts!  I always tell them it’s a bad idea, and they proly aren’t gonna like what they find, but the curiosity is overwhelming.  I think we have all been cheated on in the past and that is what drives the insecurity.  We want to know that they aren’t cheating, but we don’t trust them enough not to look. 

Email and ichat is another huge insecurity builder.  I found and ex emailing another women while we were in a relationship.  (notice the ex part, homey don’t play that game!)  He claimed it was a coworker, but I found out differently later.  And from that moment on, everytime he was at the computer, or texting, I had doubts. 

Too much information is damaging to our relationships.  If we could throw away the computers, cell phones, crackberries and such, I think we would be better off.  In the olden days (you know, 15 years ago), it was much easier to feel comfortable in your relationship.  Now, I know I’m not getting rid of anything, I am permanently attached to my phone, but it was so much easier on the mind when they weren’t available.  What role does technology play in the break up game?

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