Do we really need a knight??

Well, chatting with some new friends about why some of us are still single, and we started to discuss the “rescue” mentality.  There are a lot of men out there who like to control every situation and also love to rescue the damsel in distress.  There are also a  lot of women who love to be rescued and don’t mind giving up control to be taken care of.  

Then there is me.  HAHAHAHAHAHAH!  I really don’t like being controlled by anyone and it is one of the reasons I’m still single.  I had a great dad who was incredibly controlling and when I got old enough that I didn’t need him to pay for college or buy me things, I really started to butt heads with him.  He used to use his money to control me and as a young woman, I let him, but I resented it. 

After my divorce, the first man I had a long term relationship with was very controlling too.  He wanted me to quit my job and let him take care of me.  I’m not saying that is a bad thing, but when my dad would do it and I didn’t behave the way he liked, he took things away.  I still have that mind set with me.  I really hate Native American Taker Backers other wise known as Indian Givers. 

If you are going to give something to someone, there should be no strings attached.  End of story.  Unfortunately, that’s not how it works with a lot of guys.  I found myself yelling at my boyfriend (a few times a day), “you are so not the boss of me!”  That’s when I really knew how much I disliked being controlled.  I would rather make my own money (of course it was less than he made) than have someone tell me what to say, how to behave, and what to do. 

I’ve met guys in the past who have tried to get me to give up everything and let them  take over.  Now, the tired single mom in me sometimes fantasizes how lovely that would be to hang with my kids and go on a lot of vacations.  Then the stubborn girl comes out in me and says, well if you buy me a car and you get pissed, it’s really your car, not mine and you can ground me from it if you want.  Like I said, it’s fine for some women, but I want my daughter to always be able to depend on herself because you never know what life brings you.  I will never put myself in a position where a man has total control over my life, even if it means I’m always going to be single.