Me, Myself and I
June 20, 2009 at 10:59pm06 3 comments
My sister dated this guy back in our home state and when she moved out here, broke it off. They had a really great relationship (most of the time!) but long distance didn’t really work for them mostly because the guy can’t be by himself even for a short period of time. There are people out there, men and women, who don’t know how to go it alone.
I remember when I first got divorced, I didn’t have many single friends here to go out with. So, I forced myself to go out by myself. Was it a lot of fun? Sometimes it was, because I got to observe a lot of human interaction around me without having to make sure who ever I was with was having a good time. I went to the movies by myself (easy), dinner by myself (harder), and even out the nightclubs by myself (hardest). The alternative was staying home and I knew I didn’t want to do that all the time.
I’ve had a lot of time in between relationships where I haven’t dated for months and I really think it allowed me to grow as a person.
Some people though, don’t have the ability to do that. My sisters guy friend back home is one of the worst at this. He will go back to a women who is treating him like shit just so he doesn’t have to sleep alone. I find it to be a very destructive behavior. I’ve had girlfriends like that too and when they ask myopinion of what they should do, and I tell them to spend some time by themselves, they go right back to a guy just so they don’t have to be alone! WTF! It makes me not want to give them advise because they don’t freaking listen!
Now, I am on a journey to figuring out why I’m still single. I’m certainly not perfect and I do play a role in this. I would like to think it’s all the guys fault, but I know it’s not. I have some bad dating habits, but I absolutely do have the ability to be by myself. I think it’s an important component to a healthy life. We never know what life has in store for us, so we better love our own company just in case it’s all we have! Maybe I’ve been alone too long though and don’t crave the company of another? Hmmmmm, makes me think!
Entry filed under: still single, why still single, dating, relationships, men, women, sex. Tags: by myself, dating, men, relationships, why am i still single, women.
1. Mary | June 23, 2009 at 10:59pm06
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that I have really enjoyed browsing your posts. Any way
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2. Michael_like the saint | August 26, 2009 at 10:59am08
Gal. I have been that and seen that, and I’m sure of one thing. You need to be happy with you before you can make anyone else happy. Sure. Going out to dinner alone is difficult, but you can order ribs:>) (my private joke as they are sooooo messy).
Movies are very easy to do alone, but you really must learn. There is essentially nothing wrong with any activity solo. Staying alone at home is just not healthy. Of course, clubs? Jeez. I’m a guy, and I can’t even get comfortable with that. I’d love to go out and dance alone or just dance with anyone willing to dance, but it always seems to imply more. Never figured that one out, but it may have to do with the environment.
I think group activities are always the best bet. Once you’re around someone for a while in a group setting, you can get an idea of what they are like. See how they react to different situations and ask yourself; “am I comfortable around that?”
If not, then dating that one is NOT an option. Just that simple. It takes time and I think that’s what most people are just not willing to put into a relationship. It starts WAY before you are the only ones out there. Get a feel for someone. See how they react to different social environments. Watch. Be you. Don’t be someone you wish you were, or he will wish he were with that person, and not you. Let a person meet the real you in a group, and if they’re interested, it will happen.
All the best,
Michael_like the saint.
3. kisskiss | August 29, 2009 at 10:59pm08
you have some great insight Michael! I knew I had to get out when all I was doing was staying home being a big loser. It was hard, but it built me up a lot. And it was always great people watching. Thanks for commenting!