Need to be needed

Well, in talking with some new found friends yesterday, we started discussing the dynamics of the male/female relationship.  There was a man’s point of view given and what he basically said, it that over the history of time, men have always been the providers for the women.  In recent times, women have gained a lot of independence financially and emotionally and don’t need men as much to provide for us. 

I’m a very independent girl and have had to find ways to support myself and my kids since my divorce.  I don’t like the thought of someone taking things away from me, so I probably throw my independence in their faces too much.  Men need to be needed.  So how am I supposed to show that I need them when the truth is, I can do it on my own. 

One of my clients suggested I  fake  my dependence and ask for help.  I’m not so good at that though!  I can’t even get the words outta my mouth without laughing.  Should I not tell guys that I’m okay without them?? 

 Truth be told, I would love to have someone to help me, but my fears keep me from letting that happen.  So, I tend to put on a big front on how self sufficient I am and it can drive a guy away.  My male friends advise was to find a guy who is okay and secure with my independence.  Let me tell you, those guys are really hard to find!  They must have the best hidey holes ever!  hahahahahah!  So I guess my choices are to find one of those guys, or seem more dependent.  The second choice is definitely easier to try, but I’m really not sure how good I’ll be.  Do I not tell them about my successes at work?  Do I let them think that I’m not all that and a bag of chips??  Actually, I know I’m not a bag of chips, but do I down play my self and my achievements?? 

HELP!  (actually the help is just practising!)  It is a dilemma.  There is a fine line between needing someone and letting them think you need them.  Maybe I should just back down and talk more about the weather and kids.  Jeez, this is  a lot of brain effort.  My goal is to find a great man for me, who will let me have my independence and still feel that I need him.  Maybe I should hide a little of my light under my bushel basket or at least let him fix stuff around my house.  That’s what I really need!  Someone who is handy and can redo my bathrooms and pool.  Know anybody like that??  Kisses!

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