Change is in the air????

I met a 28-year-old guy at work last month and he was very entertaining.  He also had some insight into the male/female role-playing, which surprised me considering his age.  One of the things he was talking about was what we do as men/women or boy/girls whatever one you want.  He said that when a guy finds a girl he likes, he’s hoping she wont change and when a girl finds a guy she likes, she’s hoping he will change.

I found a lot of truth in this, especially in the younger generations.  Now, I’m not saying that it doesn’t happen to us 40 somethings, but I do know that I’ve gotten past believing a guy will change, so I don’t bother.  I remember getting married and hoping I could change my husband into the man I wanted.

Now looking back I think, what the fuck was I thinking???  Why would I want to change someone I just married??  Well, because he had a lot of the qualities that I was looking for, he just needed some tweaking!  I could change the way he dressed, and I did do that one (very easy btw), but I couldn’t change his behavior or his personality.

I married a guy who was mostly about him, and since he is still in my life, being the baby daddy, he is exactly the way he was back in his 20′s.  Maybe a little worse!  I’m very grateful not to be married to him anymore, not that he’s a bad guy, but we don’t mesh and we are both aware of it.

Now, guys on the other hand have it right.  They meet someone and hope they don’t change.  Sometimes women play the game of being whatever the guy wants to get him.  Then, after they guy is smitten, she starts acting the way she really is and that throws the guy a curve ball.  He’s thinking, where is the sweet girl I fell in love with and how did this bitch take her place??

I think that is one of the great things about getting older.  We are the way we are, and nobody is going to change us.  We may make modifications to ourselves, but our mindset is pretty much done.  I know what my deal breakers are and what I can live with.  I also know to pick a guy  that has  bad habits I can live with.

I hate certain things, tardiness, rudeness, selfishness and bad teeth.  HAHAHAHAH!  It is true though, hate bad teeth.  I love passion for things/life (even if he is intense, because I am) honesty, beautiful eyes, brains, and wit. As long as the wit is quick, not dim.  I love a good smart ass and someone who can keep me on my toes and doesn’t get his butt hurt when I dish it out too.  And lets not forget a guy who loves sports, I love them too!  Give me a guy like that and who loves to have sex and I’m alllll good.

Maybe Nick (the guy that came up with the change theory) knows more than his age shows.  He’s a pretty smart cookie for having figured this out.

Manifesting your Man…

So I recently had the pleasure of meeting a woman at my work who did a lot of energy healing and things like that.  Now, being that we all are just a bundle of energy, I was really interested in what she had to say.

She had lots of thoughts on different subjects, but one was very intriguing to me.  She was talking about manifesting the type of man who a single girl would want.  Remember a few years ago when The Secret was a hugely popular book.  This kind of relates back to that.  She was telling me that I should put down on paper what I want in a man. One one side of the paper, list the qualities of a man who I am looking for.

This doesn’t have to be shared with anyone, and you should be really honest with yourself on what you want.  I’m talking about what you REALLY want, not what you think other people will think you want.  Qualities could include, smart, funny, good-looking, successful and so on and so on.

The other side of the paper should represent what you want need.  What I got from that, was the more emotional side such as made to feel special, acceptance, and whatever  YOU want from this man you are looking for.  Then she said to set the list on fire (don’t do this where you will set your house on fire hahahaha)  and make your fingers into scissors and cut the plume of smoke 3 times representing your mind, body and spirit.

She also said to do it on a full moon which is this weekend.  Now, does this work, I DON”T KNOW!  But I bet there will be a lot of women trying it if they read this!  I’m a firm believer that what we attract what we are putting out in the universe, so why wouldn’t it work?? Kinda like my clients at work, they tend to be the same personality as me.  You know, silly, goofy, smiley and a little intense at times.  I think I will try it this weekend and let you know how it goes?? Anyone else going to try?

You always want what you can’t have…

Why is it we always want what we can’t have??  Even if we did have it at one time and didn’t want it, as soon as it’s gone, is when we decide we want it back.  I remember my kids when they were little, had toys that they hadn’t played with for months, but the moment I wanted to sell it in a garage sale, or give it away, it became the most precious toy of all!  So, that being said, I think this is a behavior that is ingrained in us from the beginning.

Now, let’s move this from toys to relationships.  When men and women break up, they want nothing to do with the other person….. UNTIL, someone else wants them.  Nobody is as desirable as someone who is desired by another.  Kinda like the toy huh??

I have a friend who was dating a guy  who was in the midst of getting divorced.  I told her that nothing good was going to come of it.  For some reason, men getting divorced think they can handle getting divorced, transitioning into a singleton, helping the kids get adjusted and starting a new relationship.  Women once in a while think they can, but let me tell you, IT’S NOT FUCKING POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!

When you’re getting a divorce, you need to focus on you and the divorce and your kids.  Don’t bring someone else into the mix!  All that will happen, is the new person is gonna get their heart stomped on when the divorcing person finally realizes that they can’t do it all!  That is exactly what happened to my friend, and no I didn’t say I told you so, I’m not that meany!

Now, after a few weeks of not talking to the guy (who is the one who said he can’t deal with starting a new relationship and told her he wouldn’t be talking to her or texting any more), the guy starts texting her again.  WTF?????  He’s been sending her texts that says that he misses her and he’s thinking about her….  This guys is such a dick.  It’s like he’s realized that someone else might be interested in his toy, and he wants to stay in her head a little longer to fuck with her.

I told her not to respond and hopefully she wont.  I may sound a little harsh in my thoughts about the guy, but seriously, once you’ve said you can’t deal with everything in your life, does 3 weeks make a difference?  I’m sure he’s still not divorced, still is going to be adjusting with his kids and still needs to leave her alone.

Note to everyone, male or female.  If the person isn’t divorced or is currently separated leave them alone!  They have a lot of shit to deal with mentally, emotionally and financially. They may be a catch in the future, but in the meantime, throw them back!