ME, no ME!

So, before you start calling me a narcissist because of the title of my post, let’s consider how important it is to focus on ourselves.   Now, I’m not saying that it’s all about me (gee, that would be nice though huh??), but I find that I’m a better person in general when I take time for myself to do things that make me happy.

I know that when I get stressed, and that’s been a lot lately, I find myself heading outside and going for a walk with my dog, or a run for me.  I used to do yoga, need to start again, because it makes me really happy, so it just means carving out a little more time for me.  As my kids get older, they need me less or so they think, it’s allowing me focus a little more on myself.  Is it bad? I don’t think so, I think it’s really healthy to do the things that make you a better person, mom, wife, or friend.

The more people pull at us, the more we need to pull back a little.  I’ve gotten better at saying no, if I know it’s going to put me in a bad position.  If I can help someone, I love being able too, but as the stresses of our lives mount, we need to simplify a bit.  Now, that doesn’t mean I’m cutting back on shoes, don’t be stupid, but I find myself staying in more, and reading, or just breathing.

Maybe that’s why I am having trouble in the relationship portion, I’m staying home too much!  I think as I’ve matured (okay, those of you who know me are laughing at the mature comment) I’m learning to accept myself more, and be a little kinder to myself.  With that said, wouldn’t that make me a better person to be around?? I’m not talking about my driving, I do have an issue with beeping at other drivers for their obvious mistakes, but I want to be a more tolerant person, which means I have to be more tolerant with me.

I’m the hardest person I know on myself and I’m a work in progress.  Maybe that’s the lesson I need to learn to move forward in the relationship arena.  I love myself very much, and know I’m a good person, mom and friend, but sometimes we all need a little reminder of that.  So that being said, maybe I need 2 walks with my dog today!

Do nice guys finish first or last??

So, I’ve been thinking (I know, a dangerous thing) about the men I’ve dated and the guys my friends have dated and/or are married too and I’m wondering where do the nice guys place? When we were younger and not as smart, it seems we always wanted the “bad boy”.  You know the one your parents wouldn’t really want you to date? I think it was more of a rebellious thing, kinda like they you aren’t the boss of me attitude. Then because of that, do we continue to seek out the bad boy?  Is it ingrained in us?

I think about Sandra Bullock and her marriage, even though Jesse James looked like a bad boy, he seemed really sweet on Celebrity Apprentice. Well, we know what’s happened with that one!  I feel so bad for her that not only she is going through this, but in the public eye.

As we age, I think we begin to appreciate the nice guy.  I have two girlfriends that are married to the nicest men.  I love that for them and I want that for myself.  I want  a guy who does what he says, and means what he says and it’s kind.  I want someone to treat me well, call me just to hear my voice and be a great guy to be with.

I’ve dated a few of the bad ones, and although it may be exciting at first, it gets really old fast. Nothing worse than a guy making plans with you and then never following through with them.  I’m sure it happens to men too, there are bad girls out there also!  Why do we continue to put up with their shit and also make excuses for their behavior??  I used to do that for my ex constantly, because I didn’t want my friends to think he was a dick, which btw, he was.  I’m too old to make excuses for anyones behavior.

I think the nice guy has gotten a bad rep because people think he gets walked all over.  Now, I will say I have a very strong personality, and if someone never calls me on my shit I can tend to roll over people.  I’m not doing it meanly (most of the time hahahahah!), but I usually say what I’m thinking and what you see is what you get.  I know I’m not everyones cup of tea and that’s quite all right with me.  But where are the nice, sweet, caring guys with a smart, funny personality hiding????  I’m tired of turning every rock over.  I live in the freaking desert and there are shit loads of rocks!!  Does that mean there are shit loads of assholes out here too??