He doesn’t own dishes….

So, one of my friends at work meets a guy 2 weekends ago and thinks he’s really cute and decides to go out on a date with him.  They set up drinks and dinner for mid week, you know the kind of date that’s easy to bail out on, cuz suddenly you have to get to work “early” the next day??  Those dates, btw, highly underrated, they give you a chance to get to know someone without a lot of booze and a built in excuse.  Now, my friend is super cute and funny and smart and has her shit together, she is also in the low 30 age range so highly dateable.

They meet after work at a wine bar, and guess what, she want’s to look at the wine list and maybe share a bottle.  The guy who is in low 30 range too, doesn’t want any wine, because he doesn’t drink wine.  Kinda weird to someone my age, but okay, have a drink dude. Well, he doesn’t want a drink because he know no moderation.  It’s all or nothing for this one, either raging drunk or stone cold sober.  I would have left at that point, but then again, I’m a little jaded.

They get to know one another and the guy starts talking about how he doesn’t own any dishes.  Ok, this guy isn’t 19, he’s like 32 and he OWNS NO DISHES!!!!  WTF???? Is he living in his mom’s basement??  He should be!  He eats cereal outta a red party cup and tells her it’s easier to drink the milk that way.  He steals his silverware from Chipotle, and he doesn’t have a freaking wine glass, but once again, he doesn’t drink wine.

I want to tell him, dude, you are never getting laid by someone your age or within 5 years of your age.  There is no hanging out at his house making dinner and having a lovely glass of vino.  It’s carry out all the way and btw, if you don’t use that knife, can I have it??  Maybe he should cut his balls off with it, because he’s not going to need them anyway!

Women like things, like dishes and glasses and silverware that is different then the kind they use at the airport.  That means silverware, not plastic.  Target and Crate & Barrel are good resources guys for anyone who is interested and in this age group.  At least I got a good laugh out of the story, and my friend had a good reason to leave early.  She needed to be at work.